Be True To Yourself…

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” -Judy Garland

I love this quote. Being you, “true to yourself you” is a foundation for being happy. It’s what influences you to make good choices for yourself.

Your persona, the side of you that you present to the world is the fluff, not the substance.

Do you know who you are? Do you have a good sense of self? When someone isn’t comfortable with themselves and comes for therapy, I hear the following,

“I just go along with what other people say”

“I don’t like to make waves”

“I don’t’ even know what my favorite color even is”. (That isn’t as unusual as you might think)

“I’m easy-going” (which often means “I don’t have the confidence to assert myself”)

Those statements reflect not being true to oneself.

Here are 6 tips on how to be true to yourself.

#1 LISTEN to your ”gut instinct”.

Many people are afraid to rely on their gut feeling. Your gut feeling is often a good signal on how to align yourself and your true values with your life. If you get a bad feeling about something, take it seriously. Figure out where it is coming from and act accordingly.

#2 Journal about your thoughts and feelings.

Yes- it takes effort to journal, but it gives you perspective about what is important to you. It enables you to take a step back and get out of your “busy”mind. Get out a pen and some paper and let it rip! (your ideas, not the paper LOL)

#3 Be honest

If your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, or a friend asks you where you want to eat or what movie you want to see, don’t say anything just to “people-please”. Say your preference. It doesn’t mean you aren’t willing to compromise, but EXPRESS yourself. Be true to your own tastes.

#4 Show YOUR flair.

Start wearing your favorite colors. Wear a hat. Get a new and different haircut. It is all part of getting to know yourself, be yourself, and take risks out in the world. Let yourself be noticed. Our personal style evolves over time. Have fun with it (I just got blue nail polish and my teenager was mortified. It looked awesome though and I got a lot of compliments!).

#5 Don’t seek approval for your decisions

This is a huge one. Most of us have been brought up seeking our parent’s approval. Maybe your parents want you to be a doctor, but that isn’t the right path for you. Maybe you want to switch your career or start your own business and your spouse is skeptical.

Listen to what your gut feeling tells you. Set your own goals. It takes time and experiences to get to know what you really want. Ultimately, we have to live our lives for ourselves and are responsible our own choices and our own happiness. Stand up for your choices if they are important to you.

#6 Don’t let your past define who you are

All of us have made mistakes we aren’t proud of. Learn from them. If you were in a bad relationship, figure out what drew you in and why you stayed. Consider therapy to learn more about yourself. Self -improvement should lead to better decisions which will boost your confidence.

To follow these 6 tips takes effort and courage. And remember… be true to yourself, be true to your values, and be willing try new experiences (take risks). Your personal development over time will lead you to the deeper truths within yourself.