Effective Listening.

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.”  -Ralph Nichols. Effective listeningis a learned skill. If you can master effective listening, you will have a happier life. Why? Because if you communicate well, people will feel more connected to you.

What can you do to improve your listening skills. Try these 7 tips:

#1 Look someone in the eye with a friendly, warm look

Eye contact is important to show you are engaged. If you stare, it can be intimidating. You are wanting to invite someone to keep talking, not shut them down because they feel uncomfortable.

#2 Ask questions

Make sure you really understand what that person is trying to tell you. Try asking questions like, “If I understand you right….” “Are you saying….” Be engaged. The person talking wants you to understand exactly what they are trying to tell you. This is the basis of good communication skills.

#3 Don’t try and fix the problem

If you are talking to your spouse, a significant other, a parent etc, don’t give advice unless the person you are talking to specifically requests it. Let them get out whatever is on their mind! Let the person VENT! Let them blow off steam. It is human nature to feel better after we share our feelings with someone.

#4 Don’t be preoccupied with what you are going to say next

To really listen, concentrate on the listening part, not what YOU are going to say next. If you are thinking ahead, you are not fully present in the moment. Listen to every word- take it in like you would a piece of art. The person you are listening to will feel valued and cared for.

#5 Be empathetic

Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Imagine what they are thinking and feeling about the situation.

#6 Don’t be judgmental.

The quickest way to shut someone down is to be judgmental about what they are saying. The person you are listening to wants to feel accepted and understood. If you judge that person, they will not open up to you again. You will no longer be their safe person anymore.

#7 Don’t interrupt

Listen. Take a deep breath. Never interrupt. Stay interested and engaged, Effective listening will make your life happier and more fulfilling. Good communication skills foster intimacy. If you follow these 7 tips, you are well on your way to “effective listening” which makes the person you listen to feel of value. Listening skills are a powerful way to feel happier.

Now go practice effective listening. Listening skills are very important as part of your personal development.

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Tags: effective listening, listening skills, personal development